You have walked into things most people could not be told about without flinching. And you will do almost anything to get out of twenty minutes of discomfort at your own kitchen table.
That is not a courage problem. You settled the courage question a long time ago. It is a tolerance problem, and nobody ever taught you the difference between the two.
Windy Dryden, who has written more on this than almost anyone in the field, puts it in one sentence. Our ability to tolerate events far exceeds our pessimistic perception.
Sit with that. There is a gap between what you can actually endure and what you predict you can endure. Almost everything expensive in your life happens inside that gap.
Ellis named what sits underneath it. He called it I-can’t-stand-it-itis, and the irrational demand sounds like this. I cannot bear this, and I must not have to. Notice that is not a statement about the event. It is a claim about you, and it is a prediction you have never once audited.
So audit it. Where is the evidence you cannot stand this? Not that you would hate it. That you could not bear it. What is your actual record on enduring things you were certain would end you?
Your record is perfect. You are still standing. Every worst day you were sure would break you, you walked out the other side of. The demand has been wrong every single time and has never been held accountable for it.
The move is not white-knuckling, because white-knuckling still agrees the thing is unbearable. The move is downgrading the demand to the truth. This is uncomfortable, and I can bear it.
Your tolerance was never the problem. Your forecast is.
Check your intel before you move.